And with a ninth month of baby’s life, some new, old changes are coming. We hope you didn’t get used to some regular sleeping patterns, because prepare for some changes – again. But with some bad changes, there are some good ones too. Find out what else to expect at the end of third quartile of baby’s life.

We just want to note that we covered every month until now. You can find it all in the articles in the first year of a child’s life section. If you are a fresh parent, or soon to be a parent, you can start with the first month of newborn’s life.

Sleepless again

Sleeping issues. Feels like that could be a summary of the first year of the baby’s life. This month, after a short peaceful period, they strike again.

The baby started to sleep restlessly, tossing, and turning (and kicking!). Those episodes were also sometimes accompanied with the loud crying. Often she had her eyes closed and didn’t react on our attempts to comfort her. Like she was sleep-crying.

We investigated nightmares and night terrors and found out they usually occur in 3 to 6 years old. However, there is a possibility that even babies experience the night terrors. They, unlike the nightmares, occur in deep, non-REM part of the sleep cycle. That’s why they usually happen in the first third of the night. Baby can sit, crawl, trash around, cry, all while in some strange state between being asleep and awake. After the episode, they will go sleep normally again and won’t have any memory of this.

Sadly, you won’t be able to forget it that easily! What causes it and how to prevent it? We don’t really know why they happen. There is some genetic component – if you are sleepwalking or having other sleep disturbances there is a bigger chance your child will experience it. It can be linked to some medical conditions such as restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea. There can also be more benign reasons like overtiredness and teething.

Don’t try to wake the baby in this phase, just gently talk to her and watch for any dangerous movements. It should be over in a few minutes.

Another old, new thing is that our little girl wants to sleep on the mommy again. Not next to her but on her, like in good old times when she was tiny newborn. Welcome to the separation anxiety phase.

Separation anxiety

We frequently think that babies are in their luckiest period of life, nothing to worry about. Well, we are very wrong – babies are anxious little creatures. They are completely depending on us and unable to clearly communicate their needs. And now, they understand that we still exist when they don’t see us. Object permanence is scary! It means we can come and go whenever we please and they can’t do anything about it. Will mommy and daddy ever come back? Imagine that fear.

That fear and accompanying behaviors are called separation anxiety. It starts around 8 months and peaks at 14-18 months. In this period baby will become even more clingy (and you thought that’s not possible). Frequently, just you exiting the room will make her miserable. And you won’t be able to go far anyway. As soon as you go to the kitchen, you hear those little knees crawling and head peaks from the corner. Just checking!

That can be exhausting, but is perfectly normal. It signals that your baby is developing secure attachment. Survival 101. Baby is becoming more mobile and without a healthy dose of separation anxiety, she could get in danger of moving from her caregivers.

Separation anxiety can also be more prominent in Western culture. In many “non-western” cultures, infants are rarely left without their mothers. They are not expected to become independent anytime soon. Separation anxiety is more prominent in western cultures (or perceived as more problematic) because of our emphasis on autonomy. More often, both parents are working so the child has to go to the nursery. There, the separation anxiety shows in its full potential. Crying, screaming, pleading – both child and parent feel terrible and helpless in that situation. Beside the time, is there anything to do to make this transition easier?

If possible, leave the child with someone they are familiar with like their grandparents. Another thing that can help is sticking to a certain daily routine. Don’t sneak out when you’re leaving, always say goodbye, but keep it short. As with everything consistency is the key, always keep your promises. First few separations should be short, gradually prolong time away.  Spend a lot of quality time with your baby and shower him with love and attention as much as you can. You can’t spoil them with that.

Another fear that occurs at this period is the stranger anxiety. As the name suggests, it’s a fear of unknown people. Baby will react to strangers with a cry and seeking comfort from their caregiver. It peaks around 7 – 10 months and usually lessens by 1 year.

Good signs of understanding words

Communication is amazing. Your baby already communicates a lot. Sadly, it was in the form of crying most of the time. Recently, she probably started to babble and seems like she has a lot of stuff to say. But alas, you still can’t speak her unique language and she can’t speak anything else.

But she probably understands much more than you think. Common words like mama, dada, no – could already be in her vocabulary. Try asking things like “Where is dada?” Is she looking in his direction? Our baby is always looking at Dad’s chair when asked where is dada. She also clearly understand no. Saying no, makes her stop into her tracks and look at you.

When she is doing something she really shouldn’t, she will look at you, seeking approval. But that doesn’t mean she will listen! The novelty of no wears off quickly. Reinforce with physically moving her from the object in question. And pretty soon she’ll understand much more than you’ll like. Gossip carefully!

Again Teething – the neverending process

Last time, in an article about eight month old baby we talked a lot about teething. And in the month before that. And… Really, it feels like every month is about teething. We said we will make a meme out of it – every time the baby is cranky and wants to bite and chew, we think it’s the new tooth coming out.

But when a new tooth is coming out, you really notice it. Baby is above its average restless and cranky. Chews everything and everywhere. So in the ninth month, prepare a lot of tissues for getting rid of the drooling, prepare chewing toys and stay calm. All 20 teeth will all come out eventually. We just need to hang on until the age of 3. And then 3 years of peace. And then all over again. Sigh…

Knees crawling and new exploration achievements

Last time we were also talking a lot about crawling. But this month the crawling went to the next level. Although we noticed early signs on crawling on her knees, our little baby was still using belly crawling most of the time.

This month, she concluded that crawling on the knees is actually faster, better and more convenient so she started to use it exclusively. Now there is nothing stopping her. Give her a second head start and she is in the bathroom or kitchen picking stuff from the floor. Such joy!

Also, she got a lot more stable so this month we got only 1 or 2 bumps in the head as a consequence of losing a balance.

And with that newfound mobility, the time came to explore new horizons! So for the first time in her life, she had a chance to crawl outside, on the fresh air. We used a bench and outdoor table for that since there is a too big risk she will stumble on some bug on the floor and decide to taste it. At first, she was reserved and wasn’t sure how to react. But soon she was exploring that bench as a pro and touching every little hole and bump she found.

No more Free Fall – Getting off the bed alone

And the biggest achievement reward this month goes to a new skill – getting of the bed alone. It is such a relief when you know your baby won’t end up on your head if you don’t pay attention for 5 seconds. We were there and it wasn’t pretty.

Before, she was going like a little Rambo – just straight like there is no hole in front of her. And that ended badly after she fell down on her head. We thought that negative experience will at least help in teaching her about not going head-first. But nooo! She continued to march forward like there is no danger ahead.

But now everything changed! She stops at the end of the bed, spots there is no way further, then tries to turn and get down on her feet. But that didn’t come by itself. There were some blood, sweat, and tears before learning that skill. Ok, I may be exaggerating, but it did take a week or two of constant learning, cheering and helping in developing that skill. But all that effort paid out in the end, so persistence from our side did end in something useful.

Sometimes she didn’t feel like going down alone, and it’s not easy not to pick her up when she wants to be picked up. It’s hard to resist to those sounds and puppy eyes.

But we managed, and now she gets off the couch like a pro. The bed is a bit higher so it is a bigger obstacle but she manages after some time. Needless to say, it is still not smart to leave the baby without supervision in that endeavor since it can still be a bit clumsy and better not to risk inconvenient landing. But you can also see the joy in her eyes when she makes it all alone. It’s great to look at little baby manage things on its own. And it is our job as parents to teach her that she can do anything if she puts enough effort.

And that’s it for ninth month of baby’s life. Next month a new special treat is coming – new leap in development. So stay tuned to find out how we survived that. Or we didn’t. Anyway. Check the Tenth month of baby’s life and see if we are still alive and well.

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